Women. Habits. Your Social Media.

Let's say you want to create a new habit, whether it's exercising more, eating healthier or writing a blog post every day. How often does it need to be performed before it becomes natural and a normal part of your day?

Clearly, it's going to depend on the type of habit you're trying to form and how single-minded you are in pursuing your goal. But are there any general guidelines for how long it takes before behaviors become automatic?

Search Google and you'll get a figure of somewhere between 21 and 28 days. In fact, there's no solid evidence for this number at all. The 21-day myth might come from a book published in 1960 by a plastic surgeon. Dr. Maxwell Maltz noticed that amputees took, on average, 21 days to adjust to the loss of a limb and he argued that people take 21 days to adjust to any major life changes.

Unless you're in the habit of sawing off your own arm, this is not particularly relevant.

Now, however, there is some psychological research addressing this habit question. Participants in a recent study were interested in forming a new habit, by taking on a new behavior. They were asked daily how automatic their chosen behavior felt ... for instance, was the new behavior hard to do and could the behavior be done without thinking?

Researchers found that the behaviors became a habit in an average of 66 days. There was, of course, a variation in how long habits took to form. As you'd imagine, drinking a daily glass of water became automatic very quickly. But doing 50 sit-ups before breakfast required more dedication.

What this study reveals is that when we want to develop a relatively simple habit like eating a piece of fruit each day or taking a 10-minute walk, it could take us over two months of daily repetitions before the behavior becomes a habit. The much-repeated 21 days to form a habit is a considerable underestimation unless your only goal in life is drinking daily glasses of water.

Okay ... so how can you use this information to engage women through your social media? First, you have to develop and participate in conversations that are relevant to her life. She's interested in:

• Relationships - A woman's Highest Personal Value is establishing and nurturing relationships. Don't assume that she only wants to hear about her relationship with the opposite sex. She's also interested in relationships with her family, friends and co-workers. Most importantly, she's interested in maintaining a relationship with her true self.
• Conversations - For women, conversations are to share information and create connections. For men, conversations are to transmit information and solve problems. Both genders use conversations for information. But, look at the difference ... she wants to "share;" he wants to "transmit." Sharing means telling stories. Transmitting means stating the facts.
• Inward Competitiveness - A woman is inwardly competitive, while a man is outwardly competitive. She wants to do better today than she did yesterday when performing tasks. Aggressiveness is a sign of outward competitiveness. She won't engage in a dialog with your brand if it "sounds" loud, fast and demanding. Women perceive this type of behavior as being just plain mean!

Second - Okay ... let's say your social media presence is relevant to her life. Now, you must keep her engaged for approximately two months before it becomes a habit for her. You might have to remind her about your dialog. Where are you going to do that? In all of your social networks. According to the latest statistics, women rule the social web.

• 57% of the people on Facebook and Twitter are women.
• 64% of the people on classmates.com, MySpace & Tagged are women.

If you want to engage her in your brand dialog, listen to what her social graph is talking about and get involved in their conversation. If she likes what she "hears," she'll make a habit of engaging in your dialog.